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「我離港前到過一間精神科醫院。當時有位病人禮貌地問,一個以作為世上最悠久民主政體而自傲的國家,如何能夠將此地交給一個政治制度非常不同的國家,且既沒諮詢當地公民,又沒給予他們民主的前景,好讓他們捍衞自己的將來。一個隨行同事說,奇怪,香港提出最理智問題的人,竟在精神科醫院。」彭定康 金融時報

“During a visit to a mental hospital before I left Hong Kong, a patient politely asked me how a country that prided itself on being the oldest democracy in the world had come to be handing over his city to another country with a very different system of government, without either consulting the citizens or giving them the prospect of democracy to safeguard their future. Strange, said one of my aides, that the man with the sanest question in Hong Kong is in a mental hospital.”Chris Patten Financial Times

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Saturday, March 17, 2007

Discover the 90 / 10 Principle

Discover the 90 / 10 Principle


跟娜姐談有關 Sliding Door 緣份兩面睇 電影的 story﹐是因為只相差一秒﹐成為兩條 Time Lines﹐出現不同 outcomes 。 但有時不是因為時間差異﹐而是關於你怎樣處理這【關鍵時刻】﹐是你的反應 your reaction, causing the differences 。


相信有很多朋友曾讀過 【90 / 10 Principle】 ﹐讀過未讀過的﹐都懇請你給我五分鐘﹐去讀一下。 這可以refresh 你的記憶﹐或讓你下次面對 similar scenario 時﹐會有另一個處理的 alternative 。


Will it change your life ???? (at least the way you react to situations).


What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.

We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? ……….By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.

What happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse.

You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.



After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is "D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why?

Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!

React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.



Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result?

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life!!! HOW much is applicable depends on YOU.


在【關鍵時刻】﹐是你的反應 your reaction﹐ causing the differences 。

22 comments:

Carrie said...

Thanks for this piece. Really great for me after cursing for every trouble I ran into today. :P

Anonymous said...

是你早前提及/引用過的"態度決定命運"。

從來取捨、去留、愛恨、生死都總在一念間。

對,名言、玉律多是老掉牙的常談,萬變後還是取決於態度;做或不做? 誰管!隨你喜歡吧。

juk :)

風信子/Hyacinthus said...

thanks for sharing. it sounds like the theory of a coin with two faces. however, how to percept those things from life is more subjecting to one’s attitude. As an optimistic guy he will try to adopt the concept of 90/10 principal but it goes adverse for those with pessimistic character.
the conept is easy to be understood but hope it not just a talk. we need execution!

mad dog said...

ha, what i heard is only the 20/80 principle.

Anonymous said...

80/20 principle is time and resource management thing. But I think the concept behind in terms of how we see things is somehow similar.

Echo with Hyacinthus, execution is always the most difficult part. Action speaks louder than words.

juk

The Inner Space said...

Carrie,

Thanks ....you are welcome!

Have a more than GOOD weekend.

the inner space said...

Anonymous jfk,

Thanks for the double dosage !!!

"從來取捨、去留、愛恨、生死都總在一念間。"

愛恨 is an exception becoz love is blind, 是盲目的!

the inner space said...

風信子 and juk,

"execution! "

知易行難﹐人之常情﹐人不是機器 !!!

the inner space said...

Mad dog and juk,

" 80/20法則,指的就是生活中這樣的一個現象,付出與成效的關係,不是50/50,而是20/80,但是做事的力氣如果放在恰當的方向﹐後人對於他這項發現有不同的稱呼,例如帕列托法則(Pareto Principle)、帕列托定律(Pareto Law)、80/20定律 (80/20 principle)。"


九流十家﹐不論中外﹐汗牛充棟﹐要讀得晒??? 哈哈哈﹐吾生也有涯﹐而知也無涯﹐以有涯隨無涯﹐殆矣!


儘量喇!!!^_*

mad dog said...

after reading your post again, i think this 10/90 principle is quite interesting... but very often i think that 10% might even be 30-40%.

Anonymous said...

"愛恨 is an exception becoz love is blind, 是盲目的!"

我同意愛很多時候是盲目的,但我提及"從來取捨、去留、愛恨、生死都總在一念間。"所指的文脈(context)未必是space兄你如上所說的一樣。那是一個相對的比較,可因一念而衍生完全極端的後果。例如,愛人離棄我,我會因而從此恨之入骨,還是我應該尊重他的意願,而他其實還是那個我深愛的人。

你扯遠了。^_

juk

aulina said...

你唔係叫我呀呵?我呢兩日未得閒呀,keep住先,公私兩邊清埋先返轉頭。

Anonymous said...

sorry,應該是"又扯遠了。"

juk

aulina said...

返轉頭,睇完。我只有約10%的時間可以行使這個法則。正念正念,時刻告訴自己,但利用那90%來做發淹的藉口實在太容易岩。

我想真正能做到這樣思考的人,其情緒控制力本身已超然的高。千鈞一髮之時,就是破口大罵之際,人之常情。

當然知道這個還是好的,常引以為鑑,一生受益不淺,謝謝分享。

the inner space said...

Mad Dog 姐:

Like I said in 我的讀後感

"【90/10 principle】是因為我認同如文中所說﹐世事的發生只有小數﹐是無中生有的﹐餘下的大多數﹐其實是因為有前因﹐而繼而產生的"﹐

the percentage varies from people to people!!!

THANK YOU very much for your time to read the posting though!!!

p.s. Looking forward to read the story about your Hubby in the wedding dinner performance.

^_*

the inner space said...

Anonymous juk,

好多人說:" 愛得反面是恨"﹐
但很多時時是恕多過恨!!!


話題是扯遠了﹐但讓我多認識你﹐實在是扯近了!!!

the inner space said...

娜姐:

多謝你讀了!!!

的確幾蝦人的﹐十次或百次中﹐有一兩次在【關鍵時刻】﹐用得著已經不算枉讀了!!!

Anonymous said...

"但很多時時是恕多過恨!!!"

看來space兄所見所識的人都很大方啊!話說回頭,如果愛的反面真的只有恨,反而會簡單俐落得多。有時候想恨一個人原來都不是很容易。並不是因為恨一個人都需要用情(這是必然的),而是當你太愛的時候,心裡再沒有空間、氣力去恨。於是就會惱自己了。

看,真的又越扯越遠了。

p.s. 隻字篇言,又會認識多少!

juk

the inner space said...

網海存知己,天涯若比鄰!!!

正如在另一網友處﹐怎知原來是同一大廈的鄰居﹐怎知原來是同一機構的同事!!!

世事就是那麼巧!!!

Anonymous said...

^_^

juk

mich said...

wow, i like the principle. it helps a lot at critical moment.

but sometimes i enjoy being spontaneous :) Cos there are always something you couldn't avoid.

btw, i got a lot of memories from "Sliding Door"

the inner space said...

Mich,

THANK you for your visit.

You didn't leave your Blog Link here, I couldn't go to your side to see HOW WHAT and WHEN you have written about "Sliding Door"........!!!